Haiku, haibun, and renga of Matsuo Bashō
Matsuo Bashō
Writings.
Haiku.
Haibun.
Renga.
Voice.
Time Line.
Having various translations lets one understand better what was
likely to be the original intention of Bashō.
In particular, I compared
paragraphs and poems of Narrow Road
in up to four translations:
Haibun
Barnhill, David Landis (translation and introduction):
Bashō's Journey: The Literary Prose of Matsuo Bashō
The Narrow Road Haibun
Facts on the The Narrow Road journey:
- 1689 (5 years before his death).
- 150 days
- traveled on foot (with occasional assistance by horse)
- with one companion for much of the journey
- distance 600 ri (approximately 2450 kilometers)
Hamill, Sam. Translator:
Narrow Road to the Interior
Hamill:
- Prefaces the translation with an introduction emphasisng the spiritual nature
of the described journey, while describing "a much more Spartan existence"
than we believe Bashō
experienced: historically, he and his companion Sora were "welcomed by
wealthy merchant-class patrons" "along most of the journey".
- Condenses the prose by about 30%.
- Adds words and even phrases to the poems.
- Includes charming brush-painting illustrations by Stephen Addiss.
Keene, Donald (translation and introduction):
The Narrow Road to Oku (1996), illustrated by Miyata Masayuki
- Parallel text in Japanese and English; also kanji of the haiku.
Very interesting and helpful.
- Illustrated by Miyata Masayuki, master of kiri-e
(collage, literally 'cut pictures'), 1995 official U.N. artist
(the first Japanese to be appointed). His artist's note includes:
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Producing a picture to represent each haiku in
The Narrow Road to Oku
was a matter of having to select one tiny 'point' -- a mere 'dot.'
One misjudgment in my reading and the picture would lose touch with the spirit of
Bashō's work and end up simply as an illustration that
happened to be accompanied by a haiku.
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His illustration are strong yet delicate,
such as his stunning image with
six layers of islands in a gleaming ocean for the Matsushima haiku [p. 81]
and his remarkably energized
Mogami River, with waterfalls, valleys, and a river-tossed boat [p. 101].
One of the most brilliant images is his snowy moonlit Moon Mountain [p. 109].
- Keene's translation is pleasing in many ways, including:
- The full prose text (instead of the heavily cut version of
Hamill).
- Haiku that adhere more closely to the original Japanese (instead of
having inserted words as by
Hamill).
- 56 annotations (occupying 8 pages)
that provide rich cultural background
(of history, customs, words, and so on) to enliven the reading.
- Conversion (or parallel presentation) of many Japanese place names
into English.
Thus, instead of Muro-no-Yashima
[Hamill],
Keene gives us the Doorless Shrine of the Cauldron.
Instead of Kurobane, Keene writes Black Wing.
And so on.
Keene thereby brings the countryside's appearance more alive.
- Approximately 5-7-5 pattern (sometimes with slightly fewer syllables
particularly in the first and second lines);
so the poems echo that aspect of the originals.
Ueda, Makoto: The Master Haiku Poet Matsuo Basho:
- Three poems from Narrow Road.
across the plain
Consider first
The Narrow Road's
poem written in response to a request
(from the man leading Bashō's horse)
to receive a poem-card.
The sound of the poem in Japanese is approximated by this Romanji
[Keene, p. 43]:
no wo yoko ni
uma hikimuke yo
hototogisu
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Keene's version (also p. 43):
Lead the horse sideways
Across the meadows -- I hear
A nightingale.
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The word "sideways" seems awkward in his translation;
I had to read other versions before Keene's version made sense to me.
Hamill's version [p. 18]
seems to claim a response of the horse to a bird cry
(an alarm rather than a "song"?)
and from a different bird, one that in the west is a terrorist rather than a chorister:
The horse lifts his head:
from across deep fields
the cuckoo's cry
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But it was not till I turned to
Barnhill's version
that I found a version that made sense ... and that I preferred as a poem:
across the plain,
turn my horse over there!
cuckoo
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So here, my favorite it
Barnhill's version.
Now consider
The Narrow Road's
poem written at Palace-on-the-Heights.
The sound of the poem in Japanese is approximated by this Romanji
[Keene, p. 87]:
natsukusa ya
tsuwamono domo ga
yume no ato
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Keene's version (also p. 87):
The summer grasses --
Of brave soldiers' dreams
The aftermath.
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Hamill's version [p. 51]:
Summer grasses:
all that remains of great soldiers'
imperial dreams
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Now consider
The Narrow Road's
poem written after turning down a request to walk with them from two young prostitutes.
The sound of the poem in Japanese is approximated by this Romanji
[Keene, p. 131]
(almost identical in
Ueda, p. 144):
hitotsu ya ni
yū'jo mo netari
hagi to tsuki
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Keene's version (also p. 131):
Under the same roof
Prostitutes were sleeping --
The moon and clover.
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This has such resonance: the moon of enlightenment with traveling poets (who presented
themselves as priests);
the bright clover with the young women.
Hamill's version [p. 75]
implies a closer juxtaposition that turns the haiku into a senryu:
Under one roof, prostitute and priest,
we all sleep together:
moon in a field of clover
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I understand that there is no explicit Japanese word for "priest"
in the Japanese haiku.
Ueda's version [p. 141], though, is the most gentle, with its
"too" and "are asleep":
Under the same roof
Courtesans, too, are asleep--
Bush clover and the moon.
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Here, I prefer
Ueda's version.
Lastly consider
The Narrow Road's
poem written after visiting the Tada Shrine (in Komatsu) with its famous warrior's helmet.
The sound of the poem in Japanese is approximated by this Romanji
[Keene, p. 143]
(identical in
Ueda, p. 141):
muzan ya na
kabuto no shita no
kirigirisu
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Keene's version (also p. 143):
Alas for mortality!
Underneath the helmet
A grasshopper.
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Hamill's version [p. 81]
uses 'Ungraciously' for muzan (which others understand as 'cruel' or 'ruthless'
or 'pitiful')
and inserts 'sings',
which is not in the original.
Also missing from the original is another
Hamill insertion:
'great soldier's empty' to describe helmet, kabuto.
That word comes from Japanese antiquity, and
gives the image of a fallen soldier.
Hamill's mistake in inserting those words in the haiku
is more than that he is inserting words; he
is duplicating the sense of the prose -- the very thing to avoid in
Haibun:
Ungraciously, under
a great soldier's empty helmet,
a cricket sings
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Ueda's version [p. 141]:
How pitiful!
Underneath the helmet
A cricket chirping.
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- 1600
- Start of Edo period.
- 1644
- Birth of
Matsuo Bashō.
He would become the first poet to compose independent hokku
(or in
Shiki's term,
haiku).
- 1680
- In Winter, several disciples built
Matsuo Bashō
a hut.
- 1689
- In Spring and Summer, accompanied by his friend Sora,
Matsuo Bashō
walked in Japan's Northern Interior.
During his remaining 5 years,
Matsuo Bashō
polished his travel diary of that journey to make
Oku-no-hosomichi.
- 1694
- Death of
Matsuo Bashō.
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