Q: B writes: Tuesday I should hear from my doctor about 2 tests I had for ovarian cancer. In the mean time I am in the worst state of panic in my life. I don't believe in sedatives like valium but I can't sleep or stop myself from thinking horrible things. Is there anything I can do to calm myself? I don't like my family seeing me in near hysterics.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is something we don't have any preparation for in life, so panic is often the first thing that springs to mind! You need some kind of strategy to help get you through the next couple of days. Here are some ideas:
1) Gather friends around. Go for a long walk with one, see a movie with another, have breakfast with a third. At a time like this, you have every right to call in the troops!
2) Different people need different mixes of distracting themselves and talking about it. Find people you can pour your heart out to, if that suits your style, but feel free to say "OK, let's do something else now".
3) Finding good distractions in this situation is an art (in fact,
I plan to have a "Distractions" section in the upcoming newsletter).
Many people find that they need things that they don't have to think
too hard about: comedies on video, mystery novels, a chat with a
"fun" friend. For others, difficult puzzles that they can really
get their minds into are helpful.
4) If you can nap during the day, you might find it easier to do so,
and not add lack of sleep at night to your worries. If you are
tossing and turning at night, get up, make some warm milk with honey
and a bit of cinnamon, watch a video, and don't even try to sleep. Then,
doze later when you can.
5) Some people find that actually "facing the worst" is actually calming. What would you do if you find out that you do, indeed, have cancer? If that question sends your mind in an unproductive spin, though, forget it!
6) Since you are trying to avoid standard medications, you might consider a mild herbal sleep aid (remember, though, that herbs used this way have their own effects and side effects, so if you are unsure, check with your doctor). Our Herbs for Healing site has this article on Insomnia.
7) If possible, (probably not, since this is a holiday weekend) see if you can possibly speed up getting the results. Sometimes a little assertion goes a long way in this area. When Tuesday comes, don't wait. Call first thing and let them know you want to find out ASAP.
For more ideas, go to the Emotional Issues section of the site. At the bottom is a link called "Breaking the Cycle of Fear and Worry", an excellent article from the Web site of the International Ovarian Cancer Connection.
Again, I am very sorry you are going through this. Please let us know how you are doing. I know from experience that other women reading this will wonder if you are OK, and I will, too.
My very best wishes to you.
Update: I just received word from B. that her tests came out negative!
Hurray! I'm sure we all wish her well.
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